van nasty

Sunday, June 15, 2008

portion control: YOURE DOING IT WRONG!

dear weightwatchers:

tonight for dinner i ate your smart ones chicken and cheese quesadilla; it was delicious. in fact, it was a little too delicious.

based on the picture i did not have high hopes; i assume you employ people whose job it is to make your food look better in the advertisement than it will on my plate. if this is the best those valiant professionals can do, well, let's just say: it leaves a lot to be desired. (if your wondering why i purchased it, allow me to explain in one word: sale).
however, it turns out, i was wrong, and the quesadilla was a handful of crisp, melty, cheesy goodness. so much so that i ate both. however, upon further inspection i realized i wasnt supposed to (okay, i kind of knew that and i was cheating).
i understand that you are the weight loss professionals, but, allow me to share with you something i have learned: fat people arent good at portion control. if we were, we wouldnt be fat. and, since we're fat, assume we're also single. if youre going to sell two servings of quesadilla, maybe you should, i dont know, individually wrap them instead of wrapping them together in one non-resealable pack? just. a. thought.



Anonymous ah said...

HAH. omg, that JUST happened to me the other day. I was like, what the hell? dumbasses and their dang ques-a-dillas.

6:12 PM  
Blogger patentexaminer said...

Oh my god! Funniest and truthfulliest thing I've read in decades. You should quit your weekend job and become a logic professor.

I eat whole pizzas for dessert. And breakfast!

5:27 PM  
Blogger pop quiz kid said...


just tell yourself this. more melted cheese means more calcium! delicious, melty calcium....

11:50 AM  
Blogger kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

Wanna VitSee?

6:28 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

van nasty

My Photo
Location: van nasty, washington, dc

i have better taste in music than you and more makeup than a drag queen.

come and talk to me