telephone: what were they thinking?
mjh: ohmigod natalie! what are you wearing to this thing tonight? its been soooo long since ive been on the red carpet, i cant even remember what people wear; is pleather still in style? sabrina the teenaged witch looked fierce in pleather! and im pretty sure i can still pull it off, even though i havent, y'know, lost the baby weight or anything ... and have begun growing a third chin (which i think is actually kinda good. it sort of distracts from the wonkiness of my eyes, dont you think? no? well then the choker does right? because i paid full price for this thing at claires and i want to make sure i get my money's worth!).
mc: well, the last red carpet event i went to was in for the very special episode of facts of life where i lost my virginity - god, that was a tough role. i mean, they knew i was a method actress, and there was no way to prepare for that! i didnt even get my first kiss, y'know with someone who wasnt contractually obligated, for another five years.
mjh: man. that was a good episode! did you like win an oscar or something? because you were pretty convincing.
mc: i know! and to think, they wanted to give that to blair. i mean, when i made that speech about liking being a magic marker instead of a skinny pencil, those were real tears! i didnt need a dash of tabasco like that hack blair.
as for my outfit, im going bold. making a statement, you know? anyone can look sophisticated and pulled together, but it takes a big girl to pull off a big print. but, it needs something ... im afraid that the purple/orange/teal/white combo is just too subtle. hmmm, leggings? no, that wont work. its too damned long; i guess i could cut it... ohmigod i totally have it! your so going to die when you see me! think pink and feathery.
mjh: awesome. i'll cheers to that. so, here's what im thinking: skin tight, pleather red dress that bunches awkwardly at my middle, and pulls tight across my thighs. and, of course, just to confuse people, its totally floor length! its very julia roberts in pretty woman if she hadnt been made over, and had instead worn her hooker formal wear to the opera. then, to top it off, im going to do absolutely nothing with my hair. the stringy look is in - its very unwashed chic! god, we are so going to be the hotness! see you tonight!