why i woke up this morning curled around the toilet: a time line

10:30:
a.t. : hey! so, im feeling kinda low-key. i think im going to take it easy tonight.
me : agreed. i dont know that im going to feel like staying out too long.
a.t. : exactly. we'll wait till at least 12:01 then maybe call it a night.

11:15:
a.t. : we need a drink. you know, just to be social. but, something light. beer maybe?
me : beer would be okay, although... they are having shot specials. it would be wrong not to try them, right? i mean, the drinks name is pink pussy. how can you not order that?!?
a.t. : well, one wouldnt hurt. and we'll get beer to wash it down. then we'll have something in our hands so no pressure.

11:30:
random guy number 1 : looks like you need another drink. what can i get you?
a.t. : well, im drinking beer right now.
r.r.#1 : okay, but what would you LIKE to be drinking?
a.t. : grey goose and tonic.
r.r.#1 : um, isnt that like $10?
a.t. : fine. make it a rail. and one for my friend, its her birthday.

11:54:
me : okay, i know it makes me a dork, but i totally want to do a midnight toast. im thinking more shots? i mean they are on special!
a.t. : totally, and there's one we havent tried.

11:58:
me to bartender : four shots of kamakazi and whatever that yummy orange drink is.

11:59:
me to bartender again : exactly what is that orange drink i ordered? oh, mango martini? you dont say... those are my favorite.

11:59:55:
l.w. : countdown! 5... 4... 3... 2... 1!
m.c: cheers!
me : yuuuUUUuuum. smooth.

12:15:
mell: hey, you need a drink! beer?
me: hmmm... my hands are feeling a bit epty. hah. i meant empty *hiccup*.

12:20:
t.p. : you remember that you dont drink beer right?
me : *hiccup*
t.p. : be right back with a gin and tonic, but drink that beer while you wait. no sense in letting it go to waste.
in the mean time, while t.p. is at the bar:
random (deliciously hot) guy #2: i hear its your birthday. how old are you?
me : 27.
r(dh)g#2 : im only 22...
me: thats still old enough to buy me a drink!
r(dh)g#2 : how about a shot instead.
me : brilliant! your choice.
r(dh)g#2 : how about wild turkey?!? but, i guess you probably cant handle that...
me : puhleeze. in new orleans *hiccup* we do wild turkey FAMILY shots, which is four shots, back *hiccup* to back!

and.... thats all i remember.