van nasty

Sunday, June 15, 2008


as i sat, hunched in my bathroom (willing myself not to vomit while scrubbing away the several and varied hand-stamps from the night before), i realized this is the fourth day in a row i had woken up hungover. or, in this case, still drunk.

and, it was only saturday, meaning i had spent 3/5 of a normal person's work week hungover (i spent 4/7 of my work week hungover).

things that have contributed to my recent binge drinking:

1) my smurfday (which i remember calling it over and over and over again tuesday at dc 9). that we havent been kicked out of there yet is nothing short of a miracle. the staff there are saints.
2) sparks.
3) my friend liz who i have nicknamed baltimore, because like the city, she is charm personified. ahem. a dainty duo we are not.
4) cupcakes; im not sure how its their fault, but im positive they are a contributing factor.
5) sparks. (in case youre wondering: anything that looks [and is] that unnatural going in, is just as unnatural going out).
6) champs: really, what better way to kick off a night of shots, sparks and cupcakes than with two bottles of champagne?
7) sparks: seriously people, why does such a fun and happy drunk leave you with such a disgustingly nasty hangover. WHY!?!

and finally i would like to take this opportunity to complain about bar hand-stamps; i appreciate that they dont contribute to the debauchery, but, is there any reason they have to be so big and so difficult to get off? why must they be a music venue's version of the scarlet letter? yes, i went out on school night, and yes, if you must know, i drank too much and probably got home somewhere north of 2 a.m.

in the morning when i go to work, i will do everything i can to combat the smoky hair, the bloodshot eyes and the ravenous look of a zombie desperate for brains; why must you and your smudgy, public stamp of shame give me away?



Blogger MHInSpace said...

Why are handstamps both hard to get off and easily transferrable to your favorite white jacket? Riddle me that.

9:56 AM  
Blogger pop quiz kid said...

hahahahaha. Sparks is the devil with an orange dress on.

10:33 AM  

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van nasty

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Location: van nasty, washington, dc

i have better taste in music than you and more makeup than a drag queen.

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