live and die in LA

I'm blogging pool side from the standard on sunset strip drinking a citron mango jasmine martini and internally giggling over how redunkulous la is. Everyone is gorgeous. Everyone! Even the ugly people in la are still gorgeous. There are no rachel ray's in la shall we say. Everyone sounds like a moron and has the depth of a puddle. And I'm the only fat girl ever to be let in the city limits. I'm a total freak show. People have been lining up and taking pictures. I'm like an la cautionary tale. I'm the reason california women drink triple tall skinny no whip no foam lattes. And, now that my two cute male coworkers have gone to bed, I couldn't get a waitresses to spit on me if I got naked and lit myself on fire.