how to vomit by 9 a.m. - five easy steps

as with anything worth doing, preparation is key!

prep work: approximately 3 hours

1. meet best friend and husband for a martini at a chi-chi bar. then decide that because challenging oneself is important, the two of you will take on the entire martini list in one, three hour sitting.

2. marinate over night.

the next morning:

3. wake at 6 a.m. ready to begin your new work out routine (even though you only tucked yourself in a few hours ago).

4. hit the treadmill for 45 minutes.

5. feeling a little queasy and looking a little green, guzzle a liter of water in under a minute.

mission accomplished. this is guaranteed to make you friends at your new gym and will probably reserve you exclusive use of that treadmill indefinitely.