to be a rock star, you have to have a rock star name. but coming up with a rock star name can be difficult. often times it requires being named by someone else; someone famous (i.e. busta rhymes, fats domino). why go through that kind of trouble when you can pay the general public $25,000 to come up with a name for you? thats right, bitches, this dude is going to pay you $25K to come up with a better name than aaron schwarz. and, its pretty clear that im destined to win, and i quote:
"Below is a little more about me. Maybe you'll get some name ideas based on the facts of my life (or maybe you'll get some ideas by watching Tootie from the Facts of Life)."
this allusion will only make sense to about two people, but, for some reason some friends started calling me tootie for awhile, and though thankfully it didnt stick, it does re-emerge once in a while. i think this was a message from his lips to my ears. unfortunately, im not so great at this game, which is the reason im neither a rock star nor an author - aside from an obvious lack of talent that is. i have a few good band names (rebellious jezebels [taken off a protesters sign at the march for womens lives], and defeated by burrito), but im all tapped out on this one. and if any of you can do better, i expect you to split the winnings.
for the record, gene (as a virtual panty-thrower, i hate to disagree), the greatest rock name is sid vicious, not fats domino.