scenes from the metro

this morning on the metro i saw a woman wearing: red high heels with socks, horizontally stripped black and white leggings, a jersey t-shirt with a lime green "juicy" velour hoodie over it, and over the hoodie, a gauzy, linen-y, electric blue hippy jam band dress of the phish variety (usually sold between the glass bongs and the vegan grilled cheese sandwich stand). she was traveling with a man who wouldnt look at her, or come within 10 feet of her.

i had to laugh to my self because i have so been that girl before. youre traveling, and you dont know what the weather will be so you bring your juicy sweatsuit because its cozy and easy to travel in; who cares that no one has worn them since 2003? and you bring your fuck-me-red-high-heels in case you end up meeting someone at the hotel bar for a night of smokey, drunken debauchery that ends with you on your back wearing only your red heels (except you knew you wouldnt really go to the bar by yourself, and instead you watched reruns of law and order every night before falling asleep reading "us weekly" at 10pm... but, just knowing you had your heels with you made you feel a little more daring). and the dress: sometimes a woman likes to climb into a comfortable, easy-to-move-in dress, especially when she is touring the mall in her best teva sandals and matching fanny pack. and really, who cares if it looks like youre wearing a burlap sack? your comfortable, and being comfortable is sexy!

but, of course, you didnt wear any of those things. and your friend (and traveling companion) had told you would wouldnt because red heels arent practical; and that youre an adult woman and therefore shouldnt leave the house in sweats like a freshman co-ed going to her 9 a.m. stats class after an all night kegger at the SAE house; or, that its fall, and phish stopped touring, and jerry garcia really is dead, so you can pack the linen empire waist dress away with your hackey sack, patchouli, and juggling sticks. so, just to prove a point, you wear them all together, just so you can say you wore them, and that they were necessary, and you were so glad that you had them with you.

either that or shes german.

the leggings, however, there's no excuse for (unless you want your legs to look like tree trunks.)