a note to the 18 year old girls across the alley

dear students living in the university of california building:

spring like totally rocks, right? its like awesome when the sun is out and the air is warm and theres not a cloud in the sky. and, i can like totally see where youre coming from wanting to take advantage of the nice weather, but, as your neighbor, i thought id let you know: when you sit outside in your bikini (or as one frisky gal did, topless) on the sundeck everyone in my building gathers in the kitchen and rates you. yep, its immature and juvenile, but, its the price you (knowingly?) pay for baring all in a city, on a sundeck where all the surrounding buildings are taller than you.

xoxo
v/n

p.s. do me a favor? can you get some young shirtless dudes to join you next time? why is all the fun reserved for the straight dudes and the lesbians?