apparently i can get more bitter

dear cohabiting-but-non-rent-paying resident:

was i rude just now?

im sorry, its just that i didnt realize you were serious when you asked me to stop cleaning because the "fumes" from my windex were too noxious for your delicate sense of smell. i bet my typing is also disruptive to you too. im so sorry i cant provide a more serene environment for you to enjoy while you sit at our computers for hours on end, whistling, which by the way is my number one pet peeve. why dont you just stand over me crunching ice in my ear while whispering the most cringe inducing words in the english language: supper, anyways and panties.

allow me to again say how sorry i am that my doing my job gets in the way of your reading your emails and searching the no-strings-attached postings on craigslist. is my breathing bothering you? maybe my very existence (seeing as only low-class people do jobs involving polyester suits and cleaning products)? why dont i just sit here and hold my breath until you leave? or would that bother you too, seeing as your probably too delicate to have to see my dead body behind the desk.

xoxo
v/n