its pretty much a given that i will be cleaning green vomit out of the elevator tonight

i really, really hate st. patty's day. really, really, really. i cannot stand drunken thirty-something frat boys wearing green, plastic mardi gras beads who are wasted, obnoxious assholes by 5 p.m. and dont even get me started on the green shamrock headbands.

mind you, i didnt feel like this last year when st. patty's day was on a friday night and i got to be one of the drunken masses wondering around drinking green beer and singing irish folk songs, instead of having to deal with them while im at work.

actually, a year ago tonight is when i met velveeta. he bought me many, many shots at dans cafe where they give you shots in a liter-sized tupperware bottle and two shots are more like eight. i "broke-up" with him in october when i thought things were going really well with dewey decimal; oh those salad days when i was green in judgement and cold in blood. now, im lucky if dewey answers his phone when i call, and velveeta has a girlfriend. ive tried to work myself up into a frenzy of pity and righteous indignation, but, i cant seem to muster the energy. i blame the cold medicine. well, that and the fact that im relieved that velveeta and all his cheesy freakishness is now someone else's problem.