as previously mentioned: i know nothing about boys. they are as foreign to me as sobriety is to pete doherty. having established that, i can also say im slowly starting to learn.
for example, last night i learned that some boys are just like girls. now i know we are all "people" and therefore basically the same, but realizing that boys can also be nervous, awkward and prone to over-analyzing every moment of every conversation and interaction, was life altering.
i like a boy, who shall for the time being be known as dewey, but, i havent heard from him in almost two weeks. i went through all the stages of girliness: being hopeful, being annoyed, being convinced that he had lost both his cell phone and his arms in a tragic wood chipper accident and was therefore incapable of contacting me except by yelling my name a la rocky (adrian!), and since i live miles away i havent heard his anguished pleas. unfortunately, we know the likehood of that being the case are slim to none. i dont need a book to tell me he just isnt that into me. hell, i could have written that book myself; it goes like this: he did not lose your number. he did not forget how to use a computer. he did not play so many video games he developed some sort of finger-carpal-tunnel-syndrome and his doctor forbad him from texting you. he just isnt. that. into you. end of story.
a whole lot of things added up to an egregious "fuck you." and were my friends to present me with the same situation, i would tell them what most of them told me "he doesnt like you. move on." however, i like him. and, im nothing if not scrappy, so, when i ran into him where he works last night, i was prepared to take a chance and ask him to come out with my friends and i tonight. but, he beat me to the punch (in a half assed sort of way). i think he too was testing the waters. in the end, he met up with me and my friends after he got off work and we hung out before he dropped me home and discovered that a) just because im a girl doesnt mean my apartment is clean; b) i love the golden girls; c) i have some tragically embarrassing music on my ipod; and, d) i have an equally embarrassing book collection (books are the first thing i look at in anyones house, so my own shiteous collection is a source of deep-routed shame and embarrassment).
im happy to report that things seem to be back on track. and, that sometimes instead of thinking, you just need to do.