van nasty

Monday, October 02, 2006

i gave her my heart and she gave me a pen

this past weekend was d.n.'s bachelorette party weekend. in retrospect, there were a million things i would have liked to have done, but, i think a good time was had.

friday was a drunken debaucherous (the fact that this is not actually a word, doesn’t stop it from being one of my favorites) night at ellas, which is to say, friday was pretty much just like every other friday.

saturday we had brunch followed by a mini spa day and makeovers at sephora. im doing the brides make-up for the wedding (something we are going to have to practice a few times) and should have been watching as the woman did her make-over, but, instead i was taking one for the team and having my make-up done by a very enthusiastic drag queen. when he said he would make me look "divine" i knew he didnt mean heavenly. and when he asked me what color the dress is (peacock [a.k.a. teal]) and what color my shoes are (gold) i knew where he was going, and i knew i was going to hate it. since im not a majorette, and this isnt a super-bowl half-time themed wedding, gold eye shadow with teal eyeliner (that flips up at the end creating some sort of weird egyptian tail) is not what i had in mind. and the oreo lips (brown lip liner, with pale pink lipstick) i think should be classified as a crime against nature. however, i already own more makeup than sephora sells, so, it wasnt an issue for me, and they did a lovely job on the other three girls.

we all took pictures so that we could recreate our looks. this was mine:

i think i needed more blush.

we spent saturday night having girls night in with sangria, thai food, and girly movies. oh, and the groom. all of us bridesmaids crapped out early and d.n. forced him to stay awake with her watching beautiful girls.

sunday we went to the drag queen brunch. i have mixed feelings about the drag queen performers; frankly, if im going to be tipping you i want you to do more than sashay around in a dress lip-synching. i do that all the time in my apartment and i dont expect people to give me dollar bills for it. although i did tip one performer after she paraded around in pasties and a thong (over control top pantyhose - im assuming this is some sort of health code thing, which is really disturbing if you think too hard about it). in her dress we were all a little jealous of what looked like a very impressive and natural looking rack; i was fully prepared to ask her for the name of her surgeon... that is until she unleashed those puppies and revealed the worst breast implants since tara reid. my tits and i instantly perked up.


Blogger Golden Silence said...

I was just happy to read that quote from "Say Anything." :-)

11:44 AM  

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van nasty

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Location: van nasty, washington, dc

i have better taste in music than you and more makeup than a drag queen.

come and talk to me