van nasty

Sunday, October 01, 2006

when animals attack

signs that your hair may be too long, and your curls may in fact be becoming dreadlocks:

5. the muslim men on the corner who sell incense start following you and trying to sell you patchouli.

4. you are compelled to buy a djembe and seek out a hippie drumming circle.

3. you stop shaving because having hair is "natural".

2. you start to engage in pseudo-sports like hacky sack, and juggling.

1. wasps get lost in your hair and panic when they cant find their way out, stinging you multiple times before dying a painful, squishing death.

to recap, in the past year i have been bitten on the wrist by a barbary ape in gibraltar; bit on the tit by a spider in seattle; and stung, multiple times, on the neck by a wasp in washington, d.c. plague and pestilence are probably right around the corner from me.


Blogger Darth Bush said...

Getting bit on the tit sounds exciting. In fasct it sounds just corrupt. Perhaps you should consider a trip to the dark side.

9:47 PM  

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van nasty

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Location: van nasty, washington, dc

i have better taste in music than you and more makeup than a drag queen.

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