the murse, a horror story

men should be forbidden from ever wearing what amounts to large man-purses. unlike women who have had years of training, men lack the skill to deftly maneuver such large accessories (take that as you will). to the man next to me on the metro this morning: i still have the imprint from your fake prada bag branded on my abdomen.

i would similarly like to suggest a limit on the number of bags women are allowed to carry. somewhere along the way things have gotten a bit excessive to the point where every woman carries a purse, briefcase/enormous bag large suitable for smuggling very flexible midgets onto planes, a gym bag with running shoes attached to the outside, their coffee, their newspaper and a lunch bag. i suggest a cap on bags at two. i know most of you arent going to the gym, and only read the style section. and you shouldnt have your coffee on the train to start with.

(ahem...as those who know me can attest, im worse at this than most. the cap therefore applies only to everyone else.[naturally!]).