too much effort for a guy im not sleeping with

is having a penis in some way connected to an inability to make plans? does testosterone double as a commitment inhibitor? i realize im not the first single woman to bitch about men's inability to commit (i have a friend who considers his cosi coffee card to be "too high pressure") but, im not talking about a man im dating, im talking about men im friends with (two is still plural. dont judge). the majority of the worlds billionaires are men, as are the majority of world leaders; this creates the illusion that men are planners capable of creating and maintaining a schedule. they arent; all of these men have secretaries and wives who do that for them. want proof? ask a male friend (one not interested in getting in your pants) to make plans for friday, a week from now. its like asking to hold the remote during the superbowl; you can practically smell the panic.

the a.s. and i bought tickets to a show months ago (this only seems to, but does not in fact, undermine my point). ive been looking forward to the show forever, but as of thursday there was still no plan. the show was in baltimore - who was driving? when were we leaving d.c.? is there a designated driver or are we staying the night? if were staying the night, are we getting hotel room? do i want to pay $100 for a hotel room to see a $10 show? what time will we be back on saturday? obviously, no one has ever accused me of being spontaneous or impulsive, but, unfortunately, i dont have the type of schedule that allows for that. i volunteer saturday at 10 a.m. if im not going to be back in time, i need to know well enough in advance to make arrangements. and if im not going to be back by 3 p.m. for work, i need to know who's going to pay me the money im losing.

so, because im me, i harassed the a.s. with phone calls and emails asking all of these questions but received no answer. i also emailed him two weeks ago and again early this week asking him to call me because i might have a conflict and have to bail. in the two years ive known him, ive never once bailed when we had plans. he however, has blown me off every time we were supposed to hang out since decemeber. and stood me up at the coup show which i saw by myself. and the yeah, yeah, yeah show. and the cat power show when he gave my friend and i's tickets to a chick he was trying to bang and left us standing in the cold with no tickets to a sold out show.

finally, he called me back. strangely, friday morning at 12:30 isnt really a good time to chat for me. he left me a nasty voicemail saying he didnt appreciate my lack of notice that i was bailing on him, and that now he had to drive to baltimore alone. meanwhile, the times he's bailed on me ive figured it out on my own after sitting at the bar by myself for more than an hour.

in the end, i bailed on the show... so, maybe this post should really be about over-scheduled-girls-inability-to-live-by-the-seat-of-her-pants, but, i did have a valid reason for canceling (beyond the overwhelming lack of planning). my best friend from college who currently lives in baghdad with her husband was in town for one night. apparently flying half way around the world to attend their wedding in gibraltar means they wont take "im going to a sold out show in baltimore" as a good reason for why you cant see them their one night in d.c.

more on that to come...