spring in australia

which is to say, my life is boomerang city. its been my experience that boys never really go away so much as they go into hibernation. lately, ive been feeling like its time to make some decisions about dewey decimal; ive been downgraded from "girl i date", but upgraded from "girl i avoid," meaning im now forced to navigate the uncomfortable and landmine infested grounds of "unsatisfied girl who wants more but is afraid to ask for fear of getting nothing." rarely do i put forth this much effort (and am possibly only doing so now because i know it wont work?) or let things drag on this long. so while im debating whether i can be satisfied with just being friends, a few boys from the past have come out of hiding. i spent about an hour today chatting with velveeta, who is currently imprisoned in a relationship but is requesting conjugal visits from me, and from another nickname-to-be-determined boy from the past. they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. clearly the voodoo dolls arent working; maybe its time to take drastic measures.