how do you know you're at a birthday party for a gay man?

because the cake slices all look like this:



no self respecting woman would DARE let frosting (chocolate no less!) go to waste like that.

also, you have conversations that go something like this:

me: "this drink is sooOooOoo strong, its burning all the little hairs in my lungs. what the shit are those things called?"
him: "areola."
me: "um. im pretty sure thats not right. that has to do with my boobies."
him: "no way! those are your nipples!"
me: "yeah, but the areola is the circle around the nipple (whips out boob as an illustration)."
him: "i dont think so. i'll google you for it!"
me: "done."

then, naturally, we spent the next hour searching for hidden porn on some poor twenty year olds computer.

i think we all know i was right, but he was close(ish). he was thinking of alveoli. how adorable is that? he is THAT unfamiliar with titties.

and the little hairs are called cilia.