because women love being described as ancient

since there seems to have been some debate about my sex, allow me to submit further proof that i am, indeed, a girl: in nyc for one day, i bypass the empire state building, the statue of liberty, the met, the american museum of natural history, and central park, and instead bunker down at fresh cosmetics in union square. as previously stated, i have more makeup than i could wear in a lifetime. hell, i have more makeup than my niece and her progeny could wear in their lifetimes (obviously, i dont plan on wrecking my body with childbirth).

until they invent a new rainbow, i have no reason to ever buy another eyeshadow, blush, mascara or lipstick (matte, gloss, or stain). yet somehow, i let the cosmetics girl (who is also, of course also an actress) do my makeup. after more than an hour in the makeup store, im trying to show some self-restraint. but, since she had spent so much time with me, i felt i should buy... you know, something! i think i show amazing reserves of self-denial buy only picking up four items: an eye-shadow trio, an eye cream, a moisturizer, and a liquid bronzer.

oh how wrong i was.

proving an astounding lack of consistency in my decision making, im happy to spend $30 for a single eyeshadow (while at the same time think $6 for cover girl makeup is WAY too much), i rarely pay more than $5 for face products. try and make sense of that! you just cant. i dont even buy name brand products; i buy the target knock off brand.

when i saw dollar signs in the cashiers eyes light up, i should have known that buying more makeup rather than "cremes and serums to reduce fine lines and plump up my eyes" would have proved a better financial decision.

lets talk about the moisturizer for starts.

"creme ancienne." thats the best name you could come up with? "ancient cream", for a moisturizer? and this is a big seller?!?

had i seen on the package that it was "handcrafted in remote monasteries in europe" i would have put it down and walked away. once i stopped laughing that is. ive always wondered what monks do and now i know: they craft creme ancienne and chartreuse.

that being said, its amazing stuff. or at least thats what im telling myself to justify the insane amounts of money i spent.