things that i am boycotting

i like to keep my hair long. it has nothing to do with vanity, and everything to do with being cheap and lazy; i would much rather sleep than spend precious snooze-hitting-slash-coffee-drinking minutes styling or blowing out (or washing, or brushing) my hair (which is why im always a minute away from forming white girl dreadlocks). in fact, hair cuts (like birthdays)are annual events, or at most, bi-annual events (like sex!). and, like tattoos, are always an emergency- must-get-it-now!, sort of thing for me. ive clearly never been one for delayed gratification.

recently, after discovering a family of squirrels trying to nest in my hair, i thought, "it may be time for my 2007 haircut." and then i decided to do something stupid. i decided instead of going to my normal hairdresser who i love, i would try someone new. ive seen john from salon loule cut hair at the red and the black for the tuesday night, "i know a girl who has big feet" $12 for a haircut and a shot event. he does a fantastic job and i even have friends who see him on the regular. not only that, ive recommended him multiple multiple times. ive heard stories that he is unreliable, however, after talking to him and seeing how much time and effort he puts into his work (and finding out he's $40 cheaper) i thought it would be worth a try.

i called (and called and called and called) to make an appointment. each time i reached a voicemail, left my name and number, but, never heard back. finally, i reached john himself, and we made an appointment for friday. unfortunately, minutes later i found out i had to be in a meeting at the same time, so, i called and cancelled (leaving, of course, a voicemail). worried that no one would receive it, i called again thursday leaving another voicemail. friday rolls around and wouldnt you know it, an hour and half before my scheduled-but-twice-attempted-to-cancel appointment, john calls to cancel due to a personal emergency. because he offers to squeeze me in on monday (my birfday and real reason for getting said haircut) i dont mention my multiple, failed attempts at canceling my appointment.

monday rolls around and minutes before i try and quietly sneak out to get my hair cut, i notice a gathering in the kitchen... surprise office birthday party!! (that'll teach me to try and leave unnoticed). running late, i grab a cab and head to my haircut, getting there exactly on time only to find a sticky note posted to the door that read "be back at 4:30" which was interesting in that it was 45 minutes AFTER our appointment. annoyed that i a) missed out on my own birthday cake, and b) wasted $12 on a cab, i called the salon and, wait for it, left yet another message. three days later and no one had gotten back to me, so i sent john an email. a week later, and still no word.

had i known i was going to be stood up, i would have at least washed my hair seeing as i was going directly from work to my birthday party.

boycott!!!